CRAZY little THINGS IN LIFE

Long time I did not blog, what to do held up between official and personal work. Nothing very interesting happening in life..except that I need to fight with these stupid and fuckin ass liking people both at work and in private life. Thanks to my roommates and a dear friend, if not for them I would have been alone in Bangalore. I have been thinking about my MBA days, its the same then also, my friends, our terrific director, prince sir, friends & their boyfriends, the small hills around Pune, and so on.

I cannot write much about the places I have visited in Pune because we were students we did not have much money to go around in autos or taxi's nor the time to go in a bus. The most important being you always need a company to go to these places and I had none, yes me who talks to everyone more than any other person, did not have company. Wanna know the reason..I am not a typical girly kind of a girl who can take bullshit from guys, and my girl friends never wanted to take me with them because they go with guys on their motorcycles and I have none to take me on their motorcycle.

I had 4girls and 3guys as my very good friends. They liked me, took great care of me, but at the same time somewhere there was a gap, I dont know why...may be its my fault, I should have been thin, good looking, fashionable, more free to guys...I dont know where the fault was but each of my friend promised and reiterated that I am their best friend BUT..yes people shared most of their secrets, their sorrows, but when there is something happening I am always forgotten...but they all are my good friends and would be my good friends as I have accepted them the way they are......YES THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.

Pune was the best phase of my life, I have learnt lot of things in the two years I was there, made lot of good friends, some best friends too...but still I have spent the most lonely days of my life in Pune. It had taught me that in today’s world, if you need to move forward quickly being a lady somewhere you need your charms (actually I dont know what word or phrase to use) and if you dont use, stand tuff against men...some of the men create hurdles forgetting that I have the will to overcome all of them.

Again I am talking about office. My boss doesn't like me as I am not ready to go out with him for lunches and dinners. I do not say yes boss for everything. I do not fall on him for nothing. Other people in the organization feel that I have done something considerable and respect me for it. He is always ready to create problems to me, pounce on me for nothing, support people just because they are against me, try to pull me down the ladder always....but people do not realize that by doing so I am actually moving up slowly and steadily learning everything twice.

I do not want to sound like am feminist...and I wanna make clear that I am talking only about some men and not all of them. My dad had always want me to become an IAS officer, my friends in Engg and MBA have always seen me at par with them, and there are others in office who have atmost respect for me because I do not go out of my culture or learning and yet get my work done.

Went home this weekend taking advice of my dear friend who said life is not only work.

It was an unique experience this time. I have been travelling with a particular travels from past one year and never had any bad or exciting experiences, but the travel was always of great comfort. This friday two fully drunken people got into the bus. One of them is a Lecturer(from West Godhavari district) he sat on the seat beside me, i.e seet on other side of walkway) it seems and the other an young guy of my age. The young guy was completely drunk and eeks! puked in the bus. He was sitting diagonally opposite to me. I called up he bus attendent and told him, he has come and got the guy out of bus..cleaned him etc and got him back to the bus.

When this young guy was being taken out of the bus I and my friend beside me were talking and I said in Telugu "Nee amma, daridruniki ami pani leda, baga tagi bus enduku ekkali, tu taginappudu intla padi cheste aimi aiyithadi, itla andarini ainduku trouble chaiyalli". The lecturer beside me who was also slightly drunk was talking very loudly on the phone and disturbing all put his phone down and asked me:-

Lecturer: Are you from Telangana
Me: Yes I am from Telangana

Lecturer: I asked because you used the phrase "Nee Amma"
Me: So

Lecturer: Girls should not use bad words like this, actually you Telangana people do not know
how to talk
Me: Quite

Lecturer: Stop using such words...girls in our place are very polie and do not use such words
Me: Quite

Lecturer: I know you would not like to talk me because I am right
Me: Quite

Lecturer: Actually which part of Telangana are you from?
Me: Quite

Lecturer: Repeat, Actually which part of Telangana are you from?
Me: Mom is from Karimnagar & Dad is from Cuddapah....and do you still want to talk me....

The person actually stopped talking and was telling the guy next to him....be careful, it seems she is from Karimnagar and Cuddapah.......

If you see Andhra Pradesh it is a big state with 23 districts, 3 largest state in India, the highest producer of rice in the country, has major drought effected areas after Rajasthan, has 3 large rivers flowwing through it Krishna, Godhavari and Tungabhadra, the silicon valley of Biotech Industry and electronic component manufacturing industries, producer of large varities of sarees Gadwal, Dharmavarm, Venkatgiri, Narayanpet, Pochampalli....so on, etc etc and all built with hard team work of all the people in AP...BUT still differentiate between Telangana and Andhra.....GOD save us!

By the way what do these people expect from Telangan? where is Telangana....the actual nice people of Telangana...GOD where are the ladies in the 6.5 meter sarees...where are the men is dhoti's....no they are not to be seen...yes they have pushed to the back seat....U know why, wanna know why....THE EOPLE FROM ANDHRA ARE THERE EVERYWHERE FROM A REMOTE VILLAGE IN ADILABAD TO THE DRY AREAS IN MAHABOOBNAGAR TO THE GREEN HILLS OF KHAMMAM, yes we find these people evry where. The fault is not their's it is our fault to allow them to come and take over our land like the British taking over.

What more can I say more than this example
Government of AP has forgotten the our former PM PV Narasimha Rao, a renowed linguist, economist whose rule was far better than even Rajiv Ghandhi's but it would never forget NTR, what do I say about him...actually I feel ashamed to even compare him with PV

I know most of you would not understand this...yes I am treated like an alien in my own city...thats the reason you would not find any youth from Telangana in AP, they go to oher countries....its high time we have to stop this...for govt is not going to do anything....

When I chose my career I always want to do sales, after successful four years of Engg I wrote CAT and entered into a B'Class business school. I focused completely on the program, did good projects(content & stipend), then sat for placements....screwed up 14 interviews, could not clear 3 interviews, did not appear for many companies hoping I would one day get placed into the field I liked the most SALES. The reaction of my fellow students and friends varied, some called me mad, some said I was interested in package while some said my knowledge is shallow, others said it is bad luck and my friends always felt bad for me. Then came two companies in the IMS(Infrastructure Management Services) space on consecutive days. Both companies do not know that the other was coming and we were asked not reveal the same. I sat for both companies as my UG was ECE engg, and my project in iFlex gave me an insight that the market is moving towards IMS. My current company being parent company of the other I joined it(the major reason being, they promised me services field sales). I was happy for the job profile but felt bad for the package Then came the day when the offer letter arrived, I felt lucky and had atmost respect for my company as they gave me 1lakh more then they have promised

Then the day came 2nd May 2005 .I was nervous, as I walked into my office, saw some 7 MT's already waiting, I was happy to see two of them whom I met the day before at Guest house, greeted all of them then one of the guys(currently working as HR in my firm and now my good friend) offered me a seat. One of the girls seated there greeted me, we liked each other from the first meeting Oh! I am disgracing from topic would talk about all of them later. We had a good induction for one week then nothing to do for fifteen more days and one fine day we(there were 2 other guys along with me in sales) were asked to give a presentation on handling business cases….I was tensed I did not do very well but neither could one of the guys with me, still he was sent to other city on sales profile and I was left on bench

Then I came to know who my boss was, he felt girls could not do sales, he has refused to take me into his team, he did not convey this to me nor did anyone else then I was put into marketing. I was put under a good boss(I need to write in detail about him). Then did lot of time pass along with some work in Marketing.

Whenever I had meeting with my top guy, he would say “I am not confident about you, work with somebody else in the team don't work alone” I got frustrated, published my CV on the net, then lot of hangamma happened in the office, still all said stay back, yes! I stayed back. Then came a turn where management has almost decided to ask me to leave, as the person who recruited me never bothered about me and others felt what would a girl with ZERO experience do when guys with 5 to 15 years of exp are failing to achieve in this industry. Then one person stood by me told the management that why did you recruit her if you did not want her. He said he would give me a month's training and make me ready for market, yes I have learnt lot of things from him and would be very grateful to him always. After a months training I was put under the same guy who felt I could not do sales. I did not know where to start they told me that I had to start from scratch, yes such a big company like mine did not have a database. Then I started collecting names of companies from different sites, don’t ask it was a big story. I can make MBA case studies out of each of these experiences, then somehow got an appointment with a customer it did not work out.

We had our company's 15th year celebration it was good tried talking to my big B but could not get any acknowledgement gosh! he did not even like to talk to me nor even acknowledged my presence. Similar was the situation in office, my MD who voluntarily greeted my colleagues never acknowledged my greetings. I started looking out for an alternative job, got one. Now it was a time when I had two options before me -- stay back and prove my worth or leave and join the new job .I chose to take up the first option, stay back and prove my worth. May be today I feel it is a mistake...may be not..

Had pretty bad times with my boss I got completely mad. I had to prove myself. YES that's when my BABA had helped me, my boss has left the company and there was no other sales person to get transition from him except me. He had to give transition of all the existing accounts to me. He made a statement which made me pity him " Is it that _ _ _ _ _ _ is only as much capable as a Business Development Executive or is it that Shilpa is as much capable as Regional Sales manager" I felt it was just the beginning, I was more than happy for the chance BABA has given me. When I actually entered into it, Oh God! it was a complete chaos, service given to the customer without PO, no incoming of money from any customer, lot of dissatisfaction with the customers.

It was 18th Sep 2005. I started clearing and cleaning everything. I had a review with my big B on 18th Oct 2005, he was impressed by the development I have made and gave me a nice compliment "You have done things in one month, which _ _ _ _ _ _ could not do in eight months" I was happy, I liked it at that movement started feeling completely lost…no guidance from big B because he sits in Mumbai. I had learnt hard way out sitting with operations guys, guys for whom managing of existing customers is more important than getting new business...

I raised my voice many a times about proper sales training but all in vain. Then came some business, a small one which later turned out to be a big one at the end of the day. Had lot of trouble convincing people that it is BIG & GOOD business. Initially people asked me are you sure if the prospect is talking about transitioning IT operations (the business we are into) or transitioning their S/W development. Things were clear after a visit of the customer to my facility, it was clear that I was right, now my position the organization changed everyone was talking about me and the case in my hand. People coming to me and enquiring about the case. My presales head and big B had helped me a lot, initially I thought they would take away this account and give it to someone else senior as I was asked are you sure you can handle this I have said "Yes I am sure I can handle this case" all went on from here with little problems at home. Thank god it was a US client, morning running around advocates and then evening & night working on this case. Atlast we got the case.

I met my MD in the lift the next day, before even I could greet him he has said "Morning Shilpa, how are you? Congratulations! for Riverstone" yes I was satisfied I thought I would do more, stay on for a year and half and leave. Now I have completed only 13 months and 5 more to go.

Meanwhile I am getting small orders, but when it comes to committing anything to the customer, I am not able to do it as a sales person, yes I have become less aggressive as I am questioned for GM's after the deal is won. I always sold and sell at a price taking GM into account as I have GM targets also along with Revenue targets. When I tell some of my friends they say it toooo much for a fresher but that’s okay I am learning. They are not able to recruit people in India and have taken onsite guys in US for one of my account, costs increased and its not my problem because when I took up the order costing was for a India based resource not US based resource. We took up the order with a clear cut GM of more than 50%, boss it is not my problem, but why do I still react to such things. I don’t know… I am a sales person I need to sell not to sit and do service delivery…not to think how to run the programs efficiently. The same is with other India accounts, no program manager for any of my programs. I am the account manager and PM both, I hate, I literally hate this job of operations. I have specialized in Marketing& Sales and not in operations.

People say in services selling operations guys are best, then why do companies take us and try to convert us. Instead of thinking what price my customer is willing to pay, I think what the cost to the company is, how much do I quote to the customer based only on my cost. My thinking is wrong, I am more bothered about how will the program be managed before even winning the deal. I am not saying that I would work in dos mode and sell and only sell, but I would like to do more of selling and less of operations. I am bothered by the customer right from the point of resource not going to the site to the transport given to the resources, and do you know why, as they only have account manager and no program manager.

I don’t know why have I written all this…may be the title of the post is also wrong…I feel I am not doing something I like….yes that’s the problem of all this chaos in work life…..need to sit and think….I have thought also many times…..the problem is my package consists of variable components and these components are only paid 6 to 7 months later…..yes, I have to wait for this money…and I will wait for 3 more months atleast…and from now on I am going to do only sales and not operations!

I have created this blog...as I felt there are many small things happening in life....especially after I started workin.....things on which i dont have control......things which I have the ability to change, but do not want to.......things which are under my control.....yes I am going to write about all this on my blog........

Yes all GOOD, EXCITING, SAD, F***in thigs.....